The Rejection Reframe: How Hard I Want to Fail This Year

I think it's safe to say that 2020 has been a year unlike any other already. As I write this, I'm holed up in my apartment under a "Stay At Home" order due to the COVID-19 virus. Even for a writer, the past two weeks at home have been claustrophobic. So I've thrown myself into my writing in many ways. Online writing workshops, revising old stories, brushing up query letters and sending them... no matter the method, I've been writing with one primary goal in mind: to fail.

Let me explain.

With a new manuscript, it's time again for me to start the process of submitting it places, and I made the supremely depressing decision to try and secure a literary agent this time around. If you know anything about this process, you know that it necessitates a lot of rejection... potentially more than submitting directly to publishers who don't require agents. So I was tiptoeing around starting the process, prolonging the inevitable Band-Aid pull, when I made a decision.

Instead of aiming for acceptance, what if I focused instead on rejection? What if I even set a goal?

It would ease the sting of so many rejections, and since I am a type A, neurotic perfectionist driven at breakneck speed toward any goal... it just might work.

So the goal of 50 rejections in 52 weeks was born. I started "shooting my shot" at any publisher, agent, journal, or organization that would have me. I've been shopping out plays, short stories, poems, my novel--everything. Because when you're aiming to fail, why not? 

And boy have I been failing. I've submitted seven different places in the past month, and I've gotten two official rejections, four still up in the air, and one very precious yes. 

Unexpectedly, the play I wrote for grad school, the play I thought was silly, inconsequential, and not worth the paper it's written on... is going on for a public reading.

...just as soon as we are all allowed out of our houses again. 

I know it's early, and those two rejections still stung, but I've been doing things I never thought possible. I've been pitching agents way "out of my league", sending out work I don't love, and bettering myself along the way. 

So I feel like I can tell you: aim to fail. Fail often and fail well and be proud of that failure. 

Because that's the only way I know to succeed. 

Free Write Friday Winner "In Memory Of"

Here she is! The ever talented Amelia from PA is in 8th grade (technically 9th, now, I suppose), and she wrote this poem in response to the prompt "in memory of." Enjoy her work, and feel free to leave comments! She is now the proud owner of The Separation in addition to getting her work published here.

In memory of the best friends,

Who found themselves at your side and decided to stay a while

Who treated you like royalty and made you feel extraordinary

Who held your hand when you got too scared

Who smiled at you while the rest of the world glared

Who came along with you to places you wanted to go

Who taught you about the strange things you didn’t even know

Who waited on you while the others went ahead

Who made you feel alive when you started feeling dead

In memory of the people who lost that kind of best friend,

Who lost that special person they held in their heart

Was it a fight or was it just time that tore you apart?

Who’s tired and lonely without them by your side

Who wonders each night if they can even survive

Who hates to know that special person is out of their life

Who’s mind is constantly filled with horrible strife

Who has a hole in their chest where that person should be

Who’s crying so much they can hardly breathe

Who’s got sadness, worry, memories and pain

All at the same time, rushing through their brain.

Who knows it will never ever be the same

Because when your best friend becomes a stranger it can drive you insane

Nice job, Amelia! To the rest of you: keep submitting! My judges and I loved reading your work last time. Maybe, just maybe, the next winner will be you.

On Writer's Block

With a new book coming out, I can't tell you how many times I've heard these words: 

I just have this awful writer's block.

While I haven't got much insight to managing a busy life and writing (that, my friends, is a very difficult subject for another day), I like to think that I have a good idea how to avoid writer's block. 
First of all, you need to know this: writer's block does not exist.

Seriously.

It doesn't. 

Writer's block, if we're being honest, is less "I just can't write!" and more "I have no inspiration!" or "This isn't coming out right!"

There is never a time, ever, when you just can't write. That said, when it feels like you might burst into tears, tear your own hair out, eat yourself out of house and home, or murder the tri-state population out of frustration, here are some tips I like to follow.

1. Chill Out. 
Writing is sort of like sleeping at night; when you aren't doing it, you start to turn into a miserable beast. You start calculating how much sleep you can get, but then you stress out about not sleeping, and the stress keeps you from sleeping. The same is true for writing. If you start panicking about the fact that you aren't writing, you will not magically panic yourself into a NYT bestseller. 
Get up, take a walk, do some yoga, eat a whole pizza; I don't care. Just take a break before you punt your laptop into the wall. 


2. Write Something, Anything. You can write a grocery list. You can write a journal. You can even write about the fact that you are not able to write. No matter what, you can put pen to paper - or fingers to keys - anytime. Sometimes when your mind is busy on a menial task - like writing about nothing - the real stories come rolling in. Inspiration can't be pushed, but it can be coaxed. 

3. Scratch. This is the coolest thing, and I cannot take credit for it. Twyla Tharp, in her book The Creative Habit: Learn it and Use it For Life, introduced me to this concept. The idea is that you use something that once inspired you (maybe it's spoken word, a song, contemporary dance, film, etc), and you let it scratch your writer's block itch. I can't tell you how many times something created by someone else has renewed my inspiration and helped me solve plot holes. 

4. Read What You've Got. If you drive, you've run into an ugly ROAD CLOSED sign before. If you're anything like me, you came to the conclusion that drinking from the skulls of your enemies - or whoever closed this stupid road - would be reasonable at this point. But guess what? You were warned every half mile before you got to the impassable part of the road.
Just like that closed road, the block you're facing isn't actually right in front of you; your problem is usually further back than you realize. And if you read what you have so far, you have a better chance at finding those warning signs. 

5. Talk to Somebody Who Gets it. Writing is so, so lonely. And it becomes worse when we hit our roadblocks. Here's why: every writer I have ever talked to about this seems to have the same thought.

Oh no! Writer's block! Alas, it is only I who have suffered in this agony. I must be miserable alone, for acknowledging my difficulties is to fail! 

And like... I know we're dramatic people, but c'mon! Find a support system, and be honest with them. None of us wake up spouting magic from our fingertips everyday. 

So this is my list. I would include cats and wine, but it turns out that writers already know that those two things are magical. So if you're feeling a little stopped up, I hope these things help you get back in the saddle!