Hi all. If I sound sheepish, it's because... well, I am. It's been four months since I last blogged.
Four months.
And I'm sorry. But life happened. A new job, a house hunt, family, and all sorts of other bumps in the road just put me off writing for a while. And even now, I struggle to find something to say because I am so burnt out.
But wait! My author brain screeches. That's a blog topic!
So here we are. It's time to talk candidly about creative burnout, friends. From day jobs to life stages to deadlines and more, the causes of burn out are varied and often unavoidable. It doesn't matter what you do; if you create, you are susceptible to this. And if you've never burnt out, then I have two things to tell you:
First, you are a liar.
Second, teach me your ways.
Because to be completely frank, I'm not convinced that mine are working. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. As with anything, the first step to dealing with any problem is admitting and recognizing that a problem exists. So here are the signs I've come to recognize in myself as preceding the colossal crash.
You Have No Ideas
Your head is empty. A dry well. A blank page. Whatever metaphor you prefer, it all boils down to the same thing: a big ol' dumdum brain with nothing going on in it. Even when you can carve out time to work on your projects, there is no creative energy to be spent on them. You stare at the canvas or the page or the whatever, and absolutely nothing springs to mind.
Everything Is Awful
Let's say you get over that first hump, and you create something with that fleeting, glorious idea you had. And it is the worst thing of all the things you ever did. Yeah, I know the feeling. Except consider this: maybe it's not. Maybe it's okay, and you're being overly critical because burn out makes you feel hopeless and those tiny voices that scream "You're finished! No more art for you!" are a little louder right now through no fault of your own.
You Don't Enjoy It Anymore
This would be the nail in the coffin. Writing is my favorite thing in the whole world, so when I sit down to do it and the dread settles into the pit of my stomach, then I know I'm in burnout mode. I'm frustrated, dissatisfied, and so tired.
So what are you supposed to do to get by? How do you combat the burnout? The unfortunate answer is that there is no one answer. But here's a few you can try on for size:
1. No ideas? Fine. Steal some.
Yep. That's what I said. Steal some. And before you work yourself in a tizzy, I am not advocating using someone's work without giving them credit, and I'm not telling you to copy. But consider this: most of Shakespeare's greatest works were informed by Grecian tragedies written before he'd ever begun his career. There is such a thing as direct inspiration, and if you use it effectively, you can help get your own groove back. No one is saying you need to share the projects that are too close to other people's. But the very act of creating something that is in some sense easier than a project that is original can be therapeutic.
2. Your work is crap? Yay! Keep crapping and pretend it's someone else's crap.
Recently, a friend told me a story about one of my favorite albums, "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." The album, he told me, was the brainchild of a simple concept: pretend you're someone else. Take on a nom de plum or something similar. If you create something completely outlandish and terrible, it's a lot easier to attribute that work to someone who doesn't exist. It's not you; it's simply the persona you took on to grow as a creator. Absolutely no shame in that. And if it can work for the Beatles, it can work for you. Who knows? Maybe you'll discover aspects of your style that you never knew existed before.
3. Back to Basics
Why do you love creating? What is keeping you from loving it right now? For me, these two questions have been integral to getting back on my writer's feet. Why do I love creating? Because it makes me feel free and it's important. It is part escapism, part activism, and part imagination. What keeps me from loving it right now? Expectation, plain and simple. I'm terrified that I won't live up to my readers' expectations, I'm terrified that I won't live up to my students' expectations, and -- above all -- I'm convinced I will never live up to my own.
So I need to take expectations out of the mix. Maybe you do, too. Or maybe not. In any case, I hope this blog helped you in some way, shape, or form. If nothing else, know you're not burning out alone.
Sending peace and kindness and creative vibes,
-Stormy
