Friday, January 6, 2017

Upon the Receipt of my First Bad Review

So I've been writing a long time. And by a long time, I pretty much mean my entire existence, from the time I could hold a pencil (or more accurately, pen, because pencils are smeary and yucky). My family and teachers and friends all coddled me and gave me the OH MY WORD YOU'RE THE NEXT SHAKESPEARE YOU GLORIOUS CREATURE YOU.

Of course I wasn't.

But I did get pretty used to hearing that I didn't suck, so after releasing two novels, I did have moments of thinking that I was pretty good at this whole writing books thing.

And I still think that I am, despite the emotional wrecking ball of self doubt that all of us face at times. But naturally not everybody is going to think so. I knew this going into writing, but I never had to really experience it.

That is, until last night.

Last night I logged onto Goodreads with the intent to mark some books that I've read. When I got to my dashboard, I noticed that one of my books no longer had the rating it had had before. I decided to investigate.

Lo and behold, there it was, as disturbing as a booger in the pages of a library book: my first bad review. And man was it a doozy.

I had been preparing for this moment my whole life, but my reaction was not what I expected: I burst into laughter.

I laughed and laughed, and then felt sick, and then read it again, considering, and then laughed some more.

And then, I moved on.

Everybody has been sending me well wishes, like somebody I knew died, and that makes this all the more hilarious. I'm over it. In fact, I'm relatively proud of the one-star, sassy, hate review I got this week. It's awesome. I mean, she really didn't like the book. And for some reason, I find this to be absolutely thrilling.

First off, the review comes from a person living in a state that I have literally never actively promoted to. This means that she found the book on her own, and read it (well, most of it. It was so terrible she couldn't finish, according to the review).

Secondly, the girl was angsty. She was so determined that my book was garbage that she took to the internet to warn the world. I set out to write with the intent of evoking strong emotion in my readers.
It looks like I succeeded.

So if you want to read a book that was deemed so terrible it can't be finished, you can look to me for results! She accidentally gave me the best advertisement ever. Now everyone is going to want to know if it's just as bad as she says.

And that requires that they read it.

So thank you, lady in Ocala, for my first bad review. You are awesome, and I owe you.