Creative Burnout is Real; So How Can We Combat It?

Hi all. If I sound sheepish, it's because... well, I am. It's been four months since I last blogged.
Four months.
And I'm sorry. But life happened. A new job, a house hunt, family, and all sorts of other bumps in the road just put me off writing for a while. And even now, I struggle to find something to say because I am so burnt out. 

But wait! My author brain screeches. That's a blog topic! 

So here we are. It's time to talk candidly about creative burnout, friends. From day jobs to life stages to deadlines and more, the causes of burn out are varied and often unavoidable. It doesn't matter what you do; if you create, you are susceptible to this. And if you've never burnt out, then I have two things to tell you: 

First, you are a liar.

Second, teach me your ways.

Because to be completely frank, I'm not convinced that mine are working. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. As with anything, the first step to dealing with any problem is admitting and recognizing that a problem exists. So here are the signs I've come to recognize in myself as preceding the colossal crash. 


You Have No Ideas
Your head is empty. A dry well. A blank page. Whatever metaphor you prefer, it all boils down to the same thing: a big ol' dumdum brain with nothing going on in it. Even when you can carve out time to work on your projects, there is no creative energy to be spent on them. You stare at the canvas or the page or the whatever, and absolutely nothing springs to mind. 

Everything Is Awful
Let's say you get over that first hump, and you create something with that fleeting, glorious idea you had. And it is the worst thing of all the things you ever did. Yeah, I know the feeling. Except consider this: maybe it's not. Maybe it's okay, and you're being overly critical because burn out makes you feel hopeless and those tiny voices that scream "You're finished! No more art for you!" are a little louder right now through no fault of your own.

You Don't Enjoy It Anymore
This would be the nail in the coffin. Writing is my favorite thing in the whole world, so when I sit down to do it and the dread settles into the pit of my stomach, then I know I'm in burnout mode. I'm frustrated, dissatisfied, and so tired. 



So what are you supposed to do to get by? How do you combat the burnout? The unfortunate answer is that there is no one answer. But here's a few you can try on for size:


1. No ideas? Fine. Steal some.

Yep. That's what I said. Steal some. And before you work yourself in a tizzy, I am not advocating using someone's work without giving them credit, and I'm not telling you to copy. But consider this: most of Shakespeare's greatest works were informed by Grecian tragedies written before he'd ever begun his career. There is such a thing as direct inspiration, and if you use it effectively, you can help get your own groove back. No one is saying you need to share the projects that are too close to other people's. But the very act of creating something that is in some sense easier than a project that is original can be therapeutic. 

2. Your work is crap? Yay! Keep crapping and pretend it's someone else's crap.

Recently, a friend told me a story about one of my favorite albums, "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." The album, he told me, was the brainchild of a simple concept: pretend you're someone else. Take on a nom de plum or something similar. If you create something completely outlandish and terrible, it's a lot easier to attribute that work to someone who doesn't exist. It's not you; it's simply the persona you took on to grow as a creator. Absolutely no shame in that. And if it can work for the Beatles, it can work for you. Who knows? Maybe you'll discover aspects of your style that you never knew existed before. 

3. Back to Basics

Why do you love creating? What is keeping you from loving it right now? For me, these two questions have been integral to getting back on my writer's feet. Why do I love creating? Because it makes me feel free and it's important. It is part escapism, part activism, and part imagination. What keeps me from loving it right now? Expectation, plain and simple. I'm terrified that I won't live up to my readers' expectations, I'm terrified that I won't live up to my students' expectations, and -- above all -- I'm convinced I will never live up to my own.



So I need to take expectations out of the mix. Maybe you do, too. Or maybe not. In any case, I hope this blog helped you in some way, shape, or form. If nothing else, know you're not burning out alone. 

Sending peace and kindness and creative vibes,

-Stormy

How Can non-LGBTQIA+ Authors Use Their Privilege This Pride Month?

How Can non-LGBTQIA+ Authors Use Their Privilege This Pride Month? 

This is a question I've been asking myself for years. Best case scenario, all straight authors prioritize the voices of members in the LGTBQ+ community, buy their work, and credit them whenever possible. But already being someone who writes and publishes regularly, I felt I could do more. So I did what I thought was best: I asked.

Below is the dialogue I had with several authors who regularly write LGBTQIA+ fiction, including E.L. Reedy & A.M. Wade (Writing partners and siblings! Can you say dynamic duo?), Kate Larkindale, M. Pepper Langlinais, and Melody Wiklund, author of Eleven Dancing Sisters.  I think you'll find their conversation to be thought-provoking and fun! 




Me: So first question will actually be a statement: Happy Pride! Tell me about yourself and your books, especially those containing LGBTQIA+ characters!

ER: Thank you! Our book, Upon Broken Wings, is about finding hope in even the darkest situations. Our greatest goal in the writing was to hopefully save lives. It follows two young teens who attempt suicide. One, Andrew, manages to take his life, the other, Kiernan, ends up wandering around in a ghost state as his body lies in a coma.

KL: Happy Pride! I'm Kate and I'm a writer living in New Zealand. My books almost all have some LGBTQIA characters, even if they are not the central focus of the story. My debut novel was An Unstill Life which is an F/F love story about a girl whose friends abandon her for boyfriends at the time in her life she needs their support most. She finds what she needs with the school 'freak'.

ALP: I write as M Pepper Langlinais, and my novel "The Fall and Rise of Peter Stoller" is a 1960s British spy story featuring a gay main character. The book is actually made up of three novellas, and the first novella is "St. Peter in Chains." That won a Blogger Book Fair award for LGBT back in 2013, and a screenplay adaptation I did won Table Read My Screenplay and was given a professional table read at Sundance Film Festival.

MW: Happy Pride! I have an f/f novella in Kissed which is about a lesbian and her bi best friend competing for the attention of a possibly queer new girl... and also maybe realizing that they're more interested in each other. I also have written a novella that's an f/f retelling of a somewhat obscure Russian fairy tale, and that will be coming out sometime this year...not yet sure when. It involves a princess, a peasant girl, and a mysterious talking fish.

Me: Okay, question two -- Why do you write books/stories with diverse characters?

AW: The world is not made up of identical clones. We all have fears and foibles and all must deal with hardships in our own ways. Having someone "normal", someone lame, someone mentally challenged, and someone very young allows us to see that fact. We all feel abandoned, betrayed, hurt, angry, loved, alive, and so on, and our story shows that despite all those differences, they all forgot the same thing--we are not alone. For each of us, there is at least one person who can and will stand by us and give aid and comfort, IF WE JUST ASK.

MW: To be honest, I didn't start writing f/f entirely on purpose. It began when I was writing a theoretically m/f novel...and then realized that my female main character was really crushing on a girl. [...]It's something I use to express my own sexuality (irl I'm debatably closeted) and it's also just something I enjoy doing--I often find writing relationships between women, whether romantic or platonic, more interesting than writing relationships between women and men.

KL: I want to write stories that reflect the world we live in and the world is made up of a vast array of people who are different to one another. I like writing f/f stories especially because there seem to be far fewer book exploring love between two women than between two men.

Me: Agreed! I'm loving these answers.

ALP: I do it because I think diverse characters are more interesting to write and to read. Also, every LGBT+ book I'd read seemed to be about that character struggling with his or her sexuality. I wanted to write LGBT+ characters who were already comfortable with that but maybe had to deal with others being uncomfortable. I feel like that's true to their experience too, as much as coming out is.

ER: Diversity is the spice of life. Despite what an alarmingly growing number of people who learned nothing from WWII might think. The differences between us are what gives the human race such staggering potential… If we don’t annihilate each other first. Also first rule of writing. Write what you know.

Me: That leads right into my next question -- I am straight and white, and in all my books, I've written queer and racially diverse characters. How do you feel about authors writing what they have not themselves experienced?

KL: If we all only write what we know, books wouldn’t be nearly as interesting to read. I think as long as you research where you need to, it’s fine to write outside your own experience. I mean, Stumped is about a teenage boy amputee and I’m not a boy or an amputee, but I did my research and I’ve been told I captured the experience and emotions really authentically.

AW: I hope, as writers and even readers, that we have been observant and listened to the world that exists around us. I am short, old, female with all my limbs. However, I live with a young male amputee and a young male on the autism spectrum. I do not know EXACTLY how they feel or how they would react in a given situation, but I have watched them grow, learn, and adapt to life's curveballs. I hope that shows when our characters say or do something in the story. A few readers have said they felt "real". That's the best compliment, I think.

ER: Writing what we have not ourselves experienced is the great thing about fiction. We get sail the wild seas, fly skies of distant worlds. As long as we as the authors make it believable--in other words, let the reader experience the worlds we create then writing what we don’t know can be a wonderful thing.

ALP: I certainly worry about getting things "wrong." However, writers rely heavily on their imaginations--whether writing fantasy or stories based on reality. Still, I don't want to offend anyone, and I try to listen to feedback from those quarters. (Luckily, it's been mostly positive.) If we weren't willing, as writers, to write things we hadn't experienced, we would have very little to say. [...] Still, I understand why some might be wary. LGBT+ people, people of color, differently abled people--they don't necessarily want us filtering their stories for them. They want to speak for themselves and be heard. That's something publishing is still trying to address by having more diverse authors, editors, agents. But I don't think that should stop US from writing the characters and situations that speak to our hearts. So long as we treat them with respect.

KL: Exactly. I totally believe people should write their own experiences and own voices are important, but I don’t think people should be afraid to write outside their own experiences either. As long as they do it in a knowledgeable and respectful way.

Me: Last question-- What do you think authors of privilege (any type, white, straight, abled, and otherwise) should be doing to a) prioritize the voices of marginalized folks and b) present "real" diverse stories in respectful ways?

AW: Well, doing in depth research is the beginning of any good writing. Putting oneself in the place of a character and realizing how differently things could be done or said, if the character was not like you, would give that perspective. Reading books and news stories describing how other abled persons were treated and using how that made you feel--angry, sad, frustrated, heart-broken--would also help shape that respectful creation of diverse characters. Just noticing people around you as you live, sadly, often shows how diverse characters are treated or expected to act. Living with my two special boys, I've seen examples of how NOT to treat people and how prejudice makes people expect them to act or be, and they don't see the real, live people behind the handicaps.

ALP : I agree that thorough research is key. I'm planning a YA contemporary update of "Twelfth Night" (just did one of "Hamlet"), and the MC will be transgendered. Luckily, I know a number of transgendered people so that I can run things by them. I think, too, it's important to show these characters as empowered, not to be all "oh, isn't it sad that he's in a wheelchair." Differently abled people don't want pity, just acknowledgement that they ARE part of this world. (That's not to say that there won't be moments where the wheelchair gets in the way or is frustrating for one reason or another. It just shouldn't be the defining factor of the handicap.)

ER: The first thing, is to throw out any preconceived notions about what is going on in someone else’s life, be they marginalized in any way or not. We, writers, get to make up quite a bit in fiction, but when it comes to making characters of any minority group, to be real, so-to-speak, we cannot fake it. We must either walk in their shoes, or at least take the time to get to know them, see how they live, learn their personal trials and tribulations. [...] I’ve met more people than I can count from so many cultures. The language barriers have been a massive challenge, but I’ve gotten to work with so many wonderful people—I’ve learned how just a few minutes a day chatting can open eyes and hearts to the differences between us. That should be our mission as writers when it comes to characters: learn about someone, understand them, and share that wisdom with our readers. If just one person can have an ah-ha moment and change their own preconceived notions—wouldn’t that make the worlds just a little bit better?

KL: Buy books by diverse writers, read articles and stories by diverse writers, talk to people who are not like yourself. Research. But always remember, the similarities between us are larger and more numerous than our differences. If you’re uncertain about how you’re representing someone, reach out to a person in that community and check that you’re not going to offend people. And adding to that, books about diverse people don’t have to be about the thing that makes them diverse. So many books With gay characters are about coming out and the issues surrounding that. I’d love to see more books where gay characters or characters with disabilities have their own stories and lives outside those things.

Me: Love these answers! Thank you so much for this interesting conversation! I feel blessed to work with such sweethearts.



So what's the first step? Buying these books, silly! Follow the Amazon pages linked at the beginning of the blog, and get reading.

Teacher Appreciation Day

Hello, all! 
I haven't written in quite some time (please don't check how long... it's embarrassing), but inspiration hit today. That's because it's a very important day: Teacher Appreciation Day! 
For those who don't know, when I'm not writing, I am teaching. And it is hard. Best case scenario, I get to be a parent, instructor, disciplinarian, shoulder to cry on, life coach, language expert, behavior manager, figurative firefighter, secretary, mandated reporter, and me all in one day. This time of year, I also have to be a test administrator, a cook, a Dr. Phil stand-in (middle school drama is REAL, my friends), and much more. Worst case scenario, I will take a bullet for your child, and I may not even be able to save their life.

But I go home smiling.

Every. Single. Day. 

Because even when it's not Teacher Appreciation Day, I know how important my job is. Even when they are driving me nuts by seeing how loud they can clear their throats until I start yelling, I go home happy. And that's for one reason, and one reason alone.

I love it. 

No, I love them.

They are worth it, every last one of them. They are worth every sleepless night I lose worrying about the girl with the eating disorder or the boy who is getting abused at home. They are worth the mountains of paperwork. They are worth the days I spend engineering lesson plans that please the state, my boss, my students, their parents, and me. They are strong and sensitive and immature and intelligent and complicated and annoying and wonderful. They are, right now, my whole life.

And, yes, I have days where I cry my way home from work because I'm frustrated or feel helpless, but there are also days like this:

Some kids dressed as the Romanovs
for a living museum assignment
 (Rasputin included!)

The real Romanov family... spot on, right? 

After converting Edgar Allan Poe short stories to
scripts, here are my kids in costume getting ready to perform their plays on stage. 

The anthology in which about a dozen of my kids are published.

So despite the fact that it is Teacher Appreciation Day, this one is for you, kiddos. You are endlessly cherished, and we believe in you every day you walk into our classrooms and beyond. Go into the world, and do great things.

Love,

Your teachers.

Obligatory New Year's Resolution Post

I'll be honest: I've never done this. I mean, yeah, I have made New Year's resolutions before, and I actually (usually) keep them. But I've never announced my resolution to the masses, mostly because I'm not vain enough to believe that anyone actually gives a single crap. But -- at the risk of sounding completely stereotypical -- 2018 feels different.  

I have a few personal resolutions that, like usual, I'm going to keep to myself. However, this year I am going to make a public resolution, one that pertains specifically to my writing. 

In 2018 and beyond, I am going to stop looking backwards.

This seems obvious, I know, but give me a chance to explain. I spend an inordinate amount of time looking at old writing and lamenting my word choice, typos, or sentence structure. This chapter would have had much more impact if I had only done this. This novel could be elevated if I had spent more time on it and done this. It's exhausting. And I used to think that it was a necessary step to getting better at your craft. Now I think otherwise. 

Yes-- you should always look to past missteps to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. But what you shouldn't do is fixate, obsess, and - worst of all - feel shame about something you've created. We all cringe at some of the early things we made, but those products are still valuable. They represent the you that existed before. And now you've grown. That's okay. That shouldn't be a source of embarrassment; growth is miraculous! As artists of any type, we should be celebrating these perceived failures as what they really are: prototypes or drafts or practice rounds that inevitably lead to a bigger, better, and more satisfying creation.

 "Do your best until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." -Maya Angelou. My mom is forever quoting this to me, and today, this really rings true. No one expects a creator to be perfect. We expect creators to grow and change and above all, to keep creating. If you can do that, well, you can do anything. 

Long story short, since I decided to stop looking backwards, I outlined a new novel, wrote three drafts of the first chapter, and one draft of chapter two. 

It doesn't feel perfect, but it feels good.
And that's enough.