The Problematic YA Fiction Relationship

Ahh, young love. The only thing better is fictional young love. I still remember reading about strapping young men with square jaws, mysterious dark sides, and the ability to say just the right thing.

Chances are, if you were an avid reader growing up, you also fantasized multiple times about fictional hotties. And I held those literary loves very close to my heart until very recently when I started to reread some books I used to love.

Instead of falling in love with my past book boyfriends all over again, I discovered 5 types of crappy relationships that we are normalizing in YA lit.

The I-Don't-Deserve-You Relationship
You're just too good for me; I am but a lowly peasant in comparison to your brilliance... Blah blahblah blahblah. Having been a teenager who believed that I was never good enough for the people I was interested in, this absolutely infuriates me.
Why do we glamorize self-doubt? When it is already so hard to love yourself, why do we make it seem attractive to believe yourself inferior?
Exhibit A: Twilight. Bella and Edward's entire relationship was continually in distress because each party truly believed that each didn't deserve the other. This is not love, people. This is infatuation paired with possible mental illness.

The He-Just-Gets-Mad-Sometimes Relationship
I could rant about 50 Shades of Grey here, but nobody wants to see me get that heated so I'll leave it at this: red flags that in real life would hint at a potential abusive relationship are not sexy. It is not attractive to watch your partner lose control of their temper on a regular basis. In reality, it's fear-inducing, not exhilarating. Passion is sexy. Even anger can be an intriguing character trait. Unbridled violence is not.

The Love Triangle.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS LITERARY, PLEASE STOP.
I get it: people love watching the brave couple navigate the challenges of love. And the forbidden is just that much more thrilling. I love drama in books! But this trope is worn out. Please, please, stop, authors. Challenge your characters. Put them through hell. Make them appreciate their partner. But maybe do it in a different way for once?

The I-Will-Die-Without-You Relationship.
So, yes, we've all been there. There's that one person who took over your world, who - with one look - could knock the breath out of you. Maybe you're still with them. Maybe you're not. That power in a relationship is absolutely intoxicating, and that's the kind of love I want to read about.
But.
When the protagonist suddenly becomes a parasite who is completely dependent on their lover, I lose interest.
NEWSFLASH: YOU ARE A WHOLE PERSON.
Even without the person you love most in the big, wide world, you are still a whole person. You are enough on your own.
Self love is sexier than any obsessive relationship I've ever read. And that's what I want to get from books. Do I enjoy watching characters fall in love? Absolutely. But I want them fall in love with themselves, first and foremost.

 The She's-Just-Complicated Relationship.
I'm looking at you, John Green.
Let's be clear: I love reading characters who make me angry, characters who are an absolute train-wreck. But I don't love when characters fall in love with other characters simply because they are "complicated" and they waste time and effort trying to "fix" or change them.
It's even worse when it actually works and every problematic behavior magically disappears from the power of LOVE.
I have never once seen this actually work on a real relationship.



Long story short... I'm not looking to read picture-perfect relationships in YA lit. That would be mind-numbingly boring. But when I do read problematic relationships, it would be nice if they were portrayed as unhealthy instead of being normalized.
I'm no expert, but I certainly know what I don't want to be in any of the relationships above.

So here's where you come in. What did I miss? Comment any problematic relationships that you've noticed reading!

Until next time...

Upon the Receipt of my First Bad Review

So I've been writing a long time. And by a long time, I pretty much mean my entire existence, from the time I could hold a pencil (or more accurately, pen, because pencils are smeary and yucky). My family and teachers and friends all coddled me and gave me the OH MY WORD YOU'RE THE NEXT SHAKESPEARE YOU GLORIOUS CREATURE YOU.

Of course I wasn't.

But I did get pretty used to hearing that I didn't suck, so after releasing two novels, I did have moments of thinking that I was pretty good at this whole writing books thing.

And I still think that I am, despite the emotional wrecking ball of self doubt that all of us face at times. But naturally not everybody is going to think so. I knew this going into writing, but I never had to really experience it.

That is, until last night.

Last night I logged onto Goodreads with the intent to mark some books that I've read. When I got to my dashboard, I noticed that one of my books no longer had the rating it had had before. I decided to investigate.

Lo and behold, there it was, as disturbing as a booger in the pages of a library book: my first bad review. And man was it a doozy.

I had been preparing for this moment my whole life, but my reaction was not what I expected: I burst into laughter.

I laughed and laughed, and then felt sick, and then read it again, considering, and then laughed some more.

And then, I moved on.

Everybody has been sending me well wishes, like somebody I knew died, and that makes this all the more hilarious. I'm over it. In fact, I'm relatively proud of the one-star, sassy, hate review I got this week. It's awesome. I mean, she really didn't like the book. And for some reason, I find this to be absolutely thrilling.

First off, the review comes from a person living in a state that I have literally never actively promoted to. This means that she found the book on her own, and read it (well, most of it. It was so terrible she couldn't finish, according to the review).

Secondly, the girl was angsty. She was so determined that my book was garbage that she took to the internet to warn the world. I set out to write with the intent of evoking strong emotion in my readers.
It looks like I succeeded.

So if you want to read a book that was deemed so terrible it can't be finished, you can look to me for results! She accidentally gave me the best advertisement ever. Now everyone is going to want to know if it's just as bad as she says.

And that requires that they read it.

So thank you, lady in Ocala, for my first bad review. You are awesome, and I owe you.